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This is the third part of a six-part series on asexuality, in which we explore the history of the asexual movement, uncover current research on asexuality, debunk common misconceptions and discuss the challenges the asexual community faces.Masturbation doesn't make you sexual, says sex expert Lori Brotto.I knew it was illogical.” Three years ago, after nearly six years of marriage, his resentment bubbled over when his uncle asked why they never had children.“I made a rude comment about how my wife was too busy wearing the pants in our relationship to be a mom,” says Alan.She rang the next day and over the following year we fell in love. Finally, after all those years, I had a soul mate: someone to go to concerts and art galleries with, someone who enjoys travelling, skiing and walking as much as I do.We now have the most beautiful, healthy, happy baby as well. The truth is that, despite our closeness and love, I have ceased to find her sexually attractive. I have racked my brains; is there a hidden problem lurking that we aren't discussing?
"Our conversation felt so natural and like we'd already been friends for years.
[Asexuals cite] boredom, stress reduction, helping them to get to sleep, etc., as reasons behind masturbation." Several male asexuals told us they masturbate frequently, some every day, and most used the phrase "cleaning the plumbing" to explain why they do it.
One female asexual said that while she masturbates about once a month, she has no idea why she does it; it just feels like something she's biologically compelled to do.
But all is not well on the women-earning-more front: The same Pew study found that having a female breadwinner was reportedly stirring up trouble in marriages. Well, 50% of respondents felt it was harder on a marriage, and 74% said it was harder to raise children.
Jonathan Alpert, a Manhattan psychotherapist, executive coach, and author of "Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days," sees many patients who face this situation.